did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
