if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
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