It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
