I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
