brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
