I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
