Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
