Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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