you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
