Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
