Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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