he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
