just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
