good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
