Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
