so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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