So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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