Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Come see our sink grown plant.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
