watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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