We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Well I just put wine in my tea
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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