well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
