There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
