bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
FUCK WHALES
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
