I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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