i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
