Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
