She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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