Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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