Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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