She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
