You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
My first STD was from a foam party
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
