Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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