So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
