How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
