me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
