Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
