why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
