wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
