come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
