I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
