imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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