found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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