Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Randomize
