5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
