I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
