so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
