she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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