Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
