Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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