i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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