I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
