he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I just found puke in my bra..
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Randomize
