the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
